-Kim calls her sisters and is resisting to the x-ray idea. For about a second, then she agrees to it. Upon Kim saying she’ll go get the x-ray done, Khloe makes out with a blow up giraffe while wearing the Indian headdress. Then the two grown up, adult sisters ride the giraffe out of the room.
-Here is a quick lesson on “going with the punches” and “pulling out all the stops”. Kris, if Kim were to “roll with the punches” regarding the ass controversy, she would just not give a sh*t that people have posted these rumors online and ignore it. However, she is “pulling out all the stops” and going through all the trouble of getting her ass x-rayed. See the difference there?
-Bruce rolls into his wife’s office, and she informs him that she wants to change her name back to Kardashian. She says that it is strictly for branding purposes. Kardashian is such a recognizable name and brand that it only makes sense. She reiterates her previous dumbass points by saying “everybody already thinks my last name is Kardashian”, it is good for business, she’s a terrible human being, blah, blah blah. She then tried to say that “Tina Turner was in an abusive relationship and she kept her name the whole time”, which I’m pretty sure contradicts the point she’s trying to make. Bruce isn’t buying it, and goes on to tell us “fu*k that bi*ch, MY fu*cking name used to be known worldwide when I dominated the Olympics back in my day, and she can go fu*k herself”. Okay, he didn’t say that, but I think he should have. He just ROLLS WITH THE PUNCHES and makes a snide comment as he walks out the door about “Mrs. Kardashian”.
-So Khloe shows up to get golf lessons from Bruce wearing a HUGE black sweater and hilarious round black glasses. Bruce tells Khloe about his wife’s proposed name change, and this pisses Khloe off to no end. She calls Kris a “fame whore”, and tells Bruce that he shouldn’t ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES and should instead be PULLING OUT ALL THE STOPS to prevent this from happening. See, those phrases are actually antonymous! [Quick tangent: Bruce actually has a pretty nice swing, I don’t understand why he has the long pause at the top. Whatever. Dude has won like a million gold medals, he can swing a club however he wants].
-An angry Khloe goes to her mother’s office and confronts her. She says that all she cares about is the Kardashian brand, and she has completely removed Bruce’s presence from her office. What happens next is the world’s cheapest product placement buy, and they probably didn’t even know they did it. The camera pans to pretty much every fuc*king product the Kardashians endorse. Was this a dramatic way of showing how much business has taken over her life or a savvy way of promoting the products? I’m assuming this was done on accident.
-Khloe then becomes the first person to call their mother a groupie. She says that twenty years ago she became a Bruce Jenner di*k sucker, and now she’s becoming a Kardashian di*k sucker. Proverbially, of course. At least for the latter. I hope.
-Time for the butt x-ray! They will be x-raying Kourtney’s boobs (since she has implants), and compare that image to the x-ray of Kim’s ass. Khloe calls Kim laying on the doctor’s table “iconic”. This is another reason why the Kennedys and the Kardashians are nothing alike. Iconic was John F. Kennedy, Jr. making a salute gesture at his father’s funeral. Kim Kardashian getting her fu*king ass x-rayed to refute stupid online rumors is whatever the opposite of iconic is.
-The three sisters show up at their family dinner to show the results of the x-rays. Guess what?! Kim is implant free! How exciting! I just watched 23 minutes of television that consisted of a woman wanting to change her last name and her daughter getting an x-ray of her ass! That TOTALLY wasn’t a complete fu*cking waste of my life!
-Scott Disick doesn’t get a whole lot of screen time this week, but he makes the most of it. He says that he and Bruce should go and get their testicles x-rayed, because he’s sick of people talking about them. Mr. Disick never seems to disappoint.
-Did anybody else notice Kim wearing her (SPOILER ALERT!) engagement ring?
-We’re finally at ANTAGONIST APOLOGY TIME! Kris talks about how much she loves Bruce and how they have raised their family, and surprises Bruce with a picture on the family portrait wall. There were roughly 94 huge pictures on the wall, and now Bruce is one of them. He is legitimately tickled by this fact. Kris probably wouldn’t have had this done if Khloe wouldn’t have pointed out earlier that Bruce wasn’t featured on the wall, but I guess it was a nice gesture. And it only took 20 years to do it! Better late than never!
-On next week’s episode we see Kris trying to pressure Kourtney into marrying Scott (surprising!), Bruce telling Kris that maybe she’s meddling too much in her daughters’ life (real talk!), and Kourtney thinking Scott might not be the one (KONTROVERSY!). Talk to you guys next week.
Note: Comments for all the posts are still hosted at the bottom of the page under my first column. Please comment and let me know what you thought of this week’s episode. Also, check out Kasey Taylor’s “RW/RR Challenge: Rivals” recaps every week. His link is at the top of the page.
Bill
