-Family activity time! They go on a sight-seeing boat tour, and Kris Jenner is freaking out because the captain was bitten by a shark once. It’s the ocean, that sh*t happens. Next, a few stingrays are swimming towards the boat and Kyndall said “LOOK AT THE MANATEES!” Yep, I believe we have a world’s first here. NOBODY has EVER looked at a stingray and said the word manatee. Kris H. throws Rob into shark infested waters and this pisses off Kourtney. I’m pretty sure there weren’t sharks, but the footage was edited to appear so. All things considered, Rob took this pretty well. I don’t care if I didn’t see a shark, if I’m in open water and I had just heard that the captain had recently been attacked by a shark, I’m flippin’ my sh*t. Maybe Rob has some redeeming qualities after all!
-Bruce reveals to his wife that for their twentieth anniversary, he would like to renew their vows. Immediately Kris puts the kibosh on it because “she’s not into that” or something. She then says she doesn’t like to be the center of attention. This coming from the woman who pees her pants and has to use pads then turned that into being the cover girl for said company. Yeah, you suuuuure don’t like being the center of attention!
-Kourtney and Kim are helping Kris shop for the renewal, as she has caved in to the idea. She starts crying and sh*t because she feels she looks fat in everything. Cut to a montage of young Kris in a bikini, and Kris peering over her daughters’ bodies. Look, you’ve had six children. You’re in your fifties. Nobody expects you to be a runway model. And if you ask me, you look pretty damn good for your age. And your husband looks like a f*cking swamp monster. You’re the looker in this relationship!
-Bruce tells her that he’ll support her in whatever she wants to do, and if she wants he can help her workout and lose whatever weight she feels she needs to lose. She’s all like “nahhh, just get me some plastic surgery and we’ll call it even”. Problem solved!
-Rob says the word “broments”, he and Scott do the weird kiss each other on the cheek greeting/goodbye thing, and Scott goes home to his family. Kourtney isn’t too happy that he’s been drinking, and Scott thinks she’s jealous that he’s been hanging out with Rob all day. Actually she said “she could care less” he was kickin’ it with her brother.
-That is one of my biggest pet peeves, so I might be ranting here a bit. Kourtney used the phrase “I could care less” not once, but f*cking TWICE this episode. I believe you mean to say you COULDN’T care less. By saying you COULD care less, you are indicating that that you definitely care to a certain degree, and it is possible that you could actually be less bothered by the situation. If you would’ve told Scott you COULDN’T care less he was gone all day, you would be telling him that you, in fact, did not mind he was with Rob all day. Ya got that? Work on that for me.
NEXT WEEK: Rob is being sick of being called a loser by his sisters, and Kris H. asks for Kim’s hand in marriage. On a semi related note, how long is this vacation?
What did you guys think? Let me know in the comments. I appreciate all the feedback you guys are giving me, so feel free to email me or leave some comments below!
Bill
Another awesome write up, Bill! Loving them! And I literally cheered when I read the “could care less” part…so many people do that and it drives me bananas.
I was kinda surprised you didn’t go off on Kris Kardashian. HAHA She’s so selfish..no wonder her kids turned out to be the way they are. She’s so over dramatic and self centered. If my husband of 20 years planned a romantic vaca to Bora Bora I’d be dancing on the tables! And then she wants to act like she doesn’t want to renew her vows? Why don’t you do something HE wants to do for ONCE!
I loved the clip where Bruce tells Kris H he has a problem.. freaking hilarious.
You’re doing a great job writing! Keep em coming!
is this dudes name really kris with a k or are you just doing that to be kute? at least call him kristofer. seems more like a guys name and its still spelled really wrong and maybe i will be able to tell him apart from everyone else with the seemingly exact same name. i am glad rob, bruce and kardashian had a good vacation.
This show is getting to hard to watch; boring Kim is such a pill to be around, how does anyone stand it??? You can see why Khloe and Kourt are so close; Kim is so self centered she has no fun; and Kris is just as bad; if it weren’t for Mason and Scott I couldn’t watch the show at all; I’m surprised you didn’t mentioned Scott’s line of the night which I had to to rewind and watch about 3 times I was laughing so hard; it was when Kris; Rob and him were sitting on the dock and Kris was complaining about Kim already being married and scott says “Did you think you were going to be her first” and you just know what he was/wanted to refer too!!! Then Rob said “well, it’s not like she was actually married” and Scott says “Nope dude, she was married paper and all” Priceless, the look on his face says it all!!! I wish E woudl give Scott his own show; he would be way more entertaiing the Lamar!
i like your recaps but not a fan of the childhood anecdotes.
I’ve been watching the newest Kardashian mess, “Kim & Kourtney Take New York” and I have to say, I’m surprised that it lasted that long. Kim is the most selfish person I have ever seen on camera. The way she would keep leaving her brand new husband and going off with her Mom, sisters and whoever else, no wonder it collapsed. Kris should count his blessings that he got away from her and her equally obnoxious sisters, Kourtney & Khloe. People say he was the bad egg, but from what I have seen, he only reacted to the way he was being treated. Sure what has been shown of his comments seem mean-spirited, but come on folks, wouldn’t you strike back if you were USED for publicity and treated like a dog who got left behind constantly. Kris Humphries is adorable, sincere, and intelligent from what I have seen and he has absolutely NO reason to feel ashamed. If Kim wants a “pet” for a companion, get a dog that you can leave with family and friends while you are travelling the country. Don’t expect your husband to be treated like he’s yesterdays news. Shame on you Kim. And Kourtney, I can see why Scott is such a mess, you treat him exactly the same way. You Kardashian women are all alike, save Khloe, who seems to be the only one who knows how to treat her man. Although I think you were a bit rotten to Kris H., especially with that snake prank. Time to GROW UP ladies. You may be beautiful, but you are terribly nasty to your men. Even Bruce Jenner seems to have lost his b—s. As a woman, I am appalled the way they treat their men. I give them all the credit for their beauty and money, so I am not jealous, just sad for them that they don’t know how to have a true loving relationship with a man. And Reggie Bush, if it’s true that Kim is out to get you again……RUN!