August 30th, 2011 | 6 Comments | Posted in Kardashians Season 7

Written by:
Bill Hudnutt

Yesterday afternoon, our dog Chloe ate an entire tray of chocolate brownies and licked the tray clean. She’s fine, I’m pretty sure she has an iron stomach. What does this have to do with KUWTK? Well nothing, really. But her name is pretty much the same as a Kardashian that wasn’t on this vacation. Yeah that was a bit of a stretch. Anyway, let’s get to it.

-Remember last week’s KONTROVERSY when Kim lost a $75,000 earring? Well turns out it’s fine, because A) her mother tells her it was insured, and B) that sh*t was so big Kyndall found it on the ocean floor. How konvenient. Anyway, the reason Kim ran away because her boyfriend Kris had never seen her kry and she didn’t want him to witness it. The phrase “that’s why you have insurance” was said several times in this scene. I wouldn’t be surprised if you started seeing these girls in Progressive commercials with Pedro Cerrano.

-Scott realizes that he’s probably going to want to have some drinks on vacation, and he reveals to Kourtney that he had a few drinks in Vegas. As he’s talking to her she starts peeing on him in the hot tub. Maybe she felt like the situation needed some levity, your guess is as good as mine. Anyway, Scott is all like “BIBLE I can totes have a few drinks without turning into a f*cking lunatic you need to trust me and sh*t”. His woman ain’t buyin’ it.

-Kris Humphries is a little perturbed by the fact that Kim got so upset about losing her earring for ten minutes, and doesn’t think he likes her materialistic ways. Kris, let’s have a little talk. You ARE DATING KIM F*CKING KARDASHIAN. Who did you think you were in a relationship with? Mother Teresa? Get a damn clue.

-The whole gang goes snubaing(?) which I’m guessing is a poor combination of scuba and snorkeling. Rob is wearing a headband for no practical reason and starts ripping into Scott because he doesn’t want to participate in the activity. Scott shows some restraint for some reason. HE’S WEARING A F*CKING HEADBAND! He doesn’t even have long hair, he’s wearing it for fashion purposes! Call him out on that sh*t!

-Kim and Kris H. go to lunch, then Kim immediately ditches him there so he can have a painful and awkward situation with her mother. That’s a f*ckin’ dick move, Kim. We then sit through a few minutes of Kris H. wiggling around in his chair and wondering whether or not he should have his sunglasses on to try and hide how terrified he is.

-Time for the Kris Jenner non-expression of the week! Kris H. says he doesn’t like to be in deep water, so Kris Jenner says “YOU’RE GONNA BE IN DEEP WATER IF YOU’RE NOT NICE TO MY DAUGHTER!” Yeah, that doesn’t mean anything. Did you mean maybe he’ll be in HOT WATER if he doesn’t treat your daughter right? Did you mean that it’s possible you’ll go OFF THE DEEP END if he doesn’t make Kim happy? For some reason I take great joy when people do sh*t like that.

-Scott versus Rob round two! Rob is name calling, hooks Scott and he starts participating since he probably can’t stand Rob f*cking Kardashian talking sh*t to him in front of his girlfriend and child. Kris Jenner gets upset and leaves the table, then Scott gets chastised by Kourtney for not being the bigger man and walking away. I get her point to a certain degree, but there’s only so much sh*t you can take before you boil over. I don’t blame him AT ALL.

-Scott and Kyndall are sitting at the table with the family when a tanker can be seen moving in the ocean. Kris Jenner thinks Scott called her a tanker. Scott’s reaction was divine. “Has anybody ever called you a tanker?!” Why did she think he called her a tanker when there is, in fact, a F*CKING TANKER in the ocean? HELLOOOO! Every word that comes out of somebody’s mouth isn’t about you lady! And in the poorest attempt to help her mother feel better about herself, Kim compares her to Fat Elvis. Genius!

6 thoughts on “KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS – 8/29/11

  1. Another awesome write up, Bill! Loving them! And I literally cheered when I read the “could care less” part…so many people do that and it drives me bananas.

  2. I was kinda surprised you didn’t go off on Kris Kardashian. HAHA She’s so wonder her kids turned out to be the way they are. She’s so over dramatic and self centered. If my husband of 20 years planned a romantic vaca to Bora Bora I’d be dancing on the tables! And then she wants to act like she doesn’t want to renew her vows? Why don’t you do something HE wants to do for ONCE!

    I loved the clip where Bruce tells Kris H he has a problem.. freaking hilarious.

    You’re doing a great job writing! Keep em coming!

  3. is this dudes name really kris with a k or are you just doing that to be kute? at least call him kristofer. seems more like a guys name and its still spelled really wrong and maybe i will be able to tell him apart from everyone else with the seemingly exact same name. i am glad rob, bruce and kardashian had a good vacation.

  4. This show is getting to hard to watch; boring Kim is such a pill to be around, how does anyone stand it??? You can see why Khloe and Kourt are so close; Kim is so self centered she has no fun; and Kris is just as bad; if it weren’t for Mason and Scott I couldn’t watch the show at all; I’m surprised you didn’t mentioned Scott’s line of the night which I had to to rewind and watch about 3 times I was laughing so hard; it was when Kris; Rob and him were sitting on the dock and Kris was complaining about Kim already being married and scott says “Did you think you were going to be her first” and you just know what he was/wanted to refer too!!! Then Rob said “well, it’s not like she was actually married” and Scott says “Nope dude, she was married paper and all” Priceless, the look on his face says it all!!! I wish E woudl give Scott his own show; he would be way more entertaiing the Lamar!

  5. I’ve been watching the newest Kardashian mess, “Kim & Kourtney Take New York” and I have to say, I’m surprised that it lasted that long. Kim is the most selfish person I have ever seen on camera. The way she would keep leaving her brand new husband and going off with her Mom, sisters and whoever else, no wonder it collapsed. Kris should count his blessings that he got away from her and her equally obnoxious sisters, Kourtney & Khloe. People say he was the bad egg, but from what I have seen, he only reacted to the way he was being treated. Sure what has been shown of his comments seem mean-spirited, but come on folks, wouldn’t you strike back if you were USED for publicity and treated like a dog who got left behind constantly. Kris Humphries is adorable, sincere, and intelligent from what I have seen and he has absolutely NO reason to feel ashamed. If Kim wants a “pet” for a companion, get a dog that you can leave with family and friends while you are travelling the country. Don’t expect your husband to be treated like he’s yesterdays news. Shame on you Kim. And Kourtney, I can see why Scott is such a mess, you treat him exactly the same way. You Kardashian women are all alike, save Khloe, who seems to be the only one who knows how to treat her man. Although I think you were a bit rotten to Kris H., especially with that snake prank. Time to GROW UP ladies. You may be beautiful, but you are terribly nasty to your men. Even Bruce Jenner seems to have lost his b—s. As a woman, I am appalled the way they treat their men. I give them all the credit for their beauty and money, so I am not jealous, just sad for them that they don’t know how to have a true loving relationship with a man. And Reggie Bush, if it’s true that Kim is out to get you again……RUN!

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