KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS – 8/8/11

Written by:
Bill Hudnutt
Email: william.d.hudnutt@gmail.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/bhudnutt
Twitter: www.twitter.com/billhudnutt

When I saw the previews for this week’s episode last week and I saw Scott was going to Vegas, I was legitimately giddy to see what kind of debauchery Scott would get himself into without Kourtney around. What denomination dollar bill would Scott shove down someone’s throat? How many times would his lame ass crew say “VEGAS BABY!”? Well Scotty, you disappointed me. WHY MUST YOU CHANGE? Anyway, let’s get to it.

-Scott appears on “Fashion Police” (another seamless E! crossover!), and he criticizes one of Kim’s outfits. It was a dress that was pretty much wide open down the middle. He likened it to wearing a suit with no crotch. The comparison really made no fu*king sense whatsoever. A more apt comparison would be wearing a suit with the shirt underneath unbuttoned pretty much down the belt. Which he does. All the time. More on that later.

-Kardashain Kommunications is taking over Kris’ life! You wouldn’t know it by watching the show, but Kris works like, really REALLY hard you guys. In fact she works so hard promoting her older children that she knows next to nothing about her younger daughters, Kyndall (Kylie+Kendall=Kyndall). Not only does she not know about any of their extracurricular activities, she actively ignores them mid conversation. Somehow, none of this sh*t is her fault.

-We have our first Mason mention! Well, kind of. A “sleeping baby” was referenced at Kourtney’s house, so I think it’s pretty safe to assume they’re talking about him. Kourtney ends up telling Kris that she’s pretty much been an absent mother to Kyndall, and this upsets her. Is she just going around to everyone trying to get them to tell her that she’s been a great mother to them or something? I’m in no way saying she’s been a bad mother, but she surely hasn’t been around as much as she should be, and she’s the first to admit this. It seems to me she just wants someone to tell her that it’s all in her head.

-Scott goes to another solo therapy session, and he brings up that he has to travel to Vegas for business. His shirt is unbuttoned pretty much down to his belly button. He’s nervous that Vegas might send him over the deep end. COME ON SCOTT THE DEEP END IS THE REASON I’M FU*KING WATCHING THIS SHIT! I’m not here to see you reformed! You are Scott FU*KING Disick! You rule Vegas! His therapist does not tell him that (I would have), and she thinks being around alcohol might not be the best idea for him. SHUT UP DOC!

-The next stop on the “PLEASE SOMEBODY TELL ME I’M AROUND MY KIDS ENOUGH TOUR” is Bruce, and he flat out tells her he doesn’t spend enough time with Kyndall. Then she gets mad at him that he’s actually cooking a meal for himself. Then she storms out of the room because she doesn’t hear what she wants to hear. Like a mature adult.

-It’s time for Scott to break the news to Kourtney that he’s going to Vegas. Of course, she isn’t happy about it, and Scott says it’s like the time she let her pubic hair grow out because she didn’t care anymore. Yeah Scott, that’s exactly the same. What the fu*k does that even mean?

-Kris is peering out the window and watching Bruce hang out with Kyndall, and she’s jealous. She’s seriously just looking out the window, doing nothing and watching the three of them. If you’re so fu*king jealous GO OUT SIDE AND JOIN THEM. It’s not like she was sitting at her desk KALLING business partners. What was she thinking? “Hmmmmm, how can I spend time with my girls more. Guhhhh this is so hard! Is there anything I can do RIGHT NOW? Think Kris, THINK! Oh crap I peed my pants. Off to the bathroom!”

-Kris decides to get to know her daughters better, and she’s literally proud of herself that she is actually going to go through with this. I’m not being sarcastic. She then tries to dance with them, then asks each one of them if they have boyfriends. I felt embarrassed for Kyndall.

-Just as Scott is going to leave, Kourtney again voices her reservations of him going to Vegas without her. Then Mason is mentioned AGAIN! Holy sh*t! This kid might be real!