September 6th, 2011 | 9 Comments | Posted in Kardashians Season 7

-Later on at dinner, Kris J. is becoming impatient with Kris H. since he’s supposed to be proposing in front of the entire family and production crew. He was postponing because, I don’t know, Kim pretty much told him that he wasn’t rich enough for her. Kris J. then asks the table if there’s any PUMPKIN PIE for dessert! Get it! Operation Pumpkin!

-Kris’s sister reassures him that Kim is “the one” for him, because one time she asked him if he thought she was the one, and he said yes. Mind you, this was before Kim called him a poor piece of sh*t, but it worked nonetheless.

-PROPOSAL TIME! Kris chooses her bedroom, because their love is simple. That is why he said he chose that bedroom. I don’t get it either. He spells out “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” in rose petals, and is down on one knee waiting for her to enter the room. She walks in, clearly sees he is asking her to marry him, and doesn’t say yes until she sees the two million dollar ring. I really think the ring played a serious factor in her decision. What would’ve happened if he would’ve pulled out a dinky ass baby ring that held a lot of sentimental value to him? What if he actually had to pay for the ring himself so he bought one that fit his budget? I know it’s awful to say, but I truly believe if she didn’t like the ring this may have played out differently.

-TIME TO SHOW OFF THE RING SHE LOVES! They go to her parents’ house, and Kim shows off the ring. Right after everyone asks if they’re engaged, Kris H. tells everyone it’s a huge elaborate joke, and they’re not engaged. Everybody is confused, but Kim is all “BIBLE WE ARE ENGAGED LOOK AT MY RING IT’S BETTER THAN YOURS KHLOE AND KOURTNEY YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE ONE YOU SINFUL SLUTBAG AND MOM THE NETWORK BOUGHT ME A BETTER ONE THAN YOU!” Okay, she didn’t come out and say that, but you could see it in her eyes.

-And just to leave me pissed off as the season ends, Kim says “I’m ready for this crazy journey that I’m going to bring Kris on”. WHAT. THE. F*CK. My god how self-absorbed are you? I mean I know the answer to that question, but you’ve got to be kidding me. Oh, you’re just bringing him along for the ride? You know that he’s part of this, right? Like, he’s actually going to be getting married as well? She is the worst.

Well that’s it, everybody. Season six of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” has concluded, and it has been a blast writing this column for the past couple months. I want to thank everybody who has read the column, commented, emailed me, tweeted at me, etc., because it has made the experience that much more enjoyable and beneficial. And a special shout out to Sheila M., who provided me with great feedback after each KOLUMN. Let me know what you thought of the finale in the komments below, because there’s a lot to talk about.

Again, thanks everyone!



  1. Great recap! I thought the exact same thing when Kim didn’t say yes until she saw the ring. And yes, Rob did say “Bible on Dad” a couple of times during the argument with Kim. The casting people of DWTS must be completely desperate to be putting him on the show. Maybe that’s what he was referring to by getting his sh*t together when they got back home.

  2. So with you on Kim! I hope Kris H-Kardashian (you know she’ll make him take her name) and Kim get a spin off because it will be the only one to fail. What a snooze-fest those two are.

  3. fantastic, bill ~ thank you! – and hope you will write about the wedding as well .. (as i can’t bear to watch any of them, with the sometimes-exception of bruce.. but will come by here to see if you write about it).
    and .. SO hope your chloe is still doing well! .. iron stomach or not, chocolate is very dangerous for dogs.. xo

  4. i hate these people. wow. but the episode had the hot twins getting drunk. maybe i will watch it. (by ‘hot twins’ i may or may not be talking about an 11 and 13 year old. i do not watch the show so i am not sure)

  5. That was a most edifying recap, Bill!

    I agree with you the chewed food scene reset the standard for Disgusting Moments in Television, eclipsing the previous record set by Jill Zarin obliging her pet chihuahua dog to deep-clean her nasal cavity with its diminuitive prehensile tongue

    I seriously doubt Kris H laid out those rose petals himself.

    If you’ve ever tried to do anything like that with rose petals, it requires a little bit of skill and some special adhesive you’d need to get from the florist (or a TV production crew) to prevent the message becoming illegible from the air movement caused by your walking away from the finished piece.

    I look forward to enjoying your wedding coverage, but urge you to hasten your pen, as it will lose some of the punch unless it is published prior to the separation announcement, which should be forthcoming any day now.

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