KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS – 7/25/11

July 25th, 2011 | 11 Comments | Posted in Kardashians Season 7

-Khloe then starts probing Kendall (or Kylie, I really can’t fu*king tell them apart) about how far they have gone with boys. She then starts an ad hoc game of “Never Have I Ever”, and comes to the scientific conclusion that her younger sisters are not, in fact, whorebags. Unlike herself at that age. Her words, not mine.

-Kim is continuing to freak out about her psoriasis and proceeds to Google pictures of extreme cases of the disease. Due to my travel, I had to watch this at 5 AM, and let me tell you, I definitely do not recommend it. I wanted to puke my fu*king brains out when they showed some of those pictures. PANIC TIME KIMMY!

-At the dinner table, Khloe marvels at the variety of soups being served. Being the devout Christian family they are, Khloe demands a prayer is said before they break bread. Halfway through the prayer she checks her cell phone.

-I’m not sure if Kim was programmed for this episode to say the same things over and over, but she’s STILL a wreck about this psoriasis. She’s all “GAHHHHH my career is over thanks to this horrible disease I have! You TOTALLY can’t airbrush pictures! Video can’t be edited! Everytime you have seen me the pictures and footage has NOT been doctored! I’m perfect!”. Again, she doesn’t say this out loud, but with her eyes and body language. They say 90% of all communication is nonverbal, right? (Note—all statistics off the top of my head).

-I have to give Bruce a lot of credit, he did a very admirable job in having the sex talk with Kendall and Kylie. Khloe then tells a very heartfelt, heartbreaking story about losing her virginity. For once, I’m not being sarcastic. Khloe is by far the most genuine person on this show. I really feel like she doesn’t change because the cameras are around. She’s cool.

-Bruce tells the girls he had a vasectomy, and Khloe explains to them that it is a procedure in which your balls get cut off. I really can’t tell if she really thinks that is what a vasectomy is.

-Kim wants the right to whine about her ailment, and whether or not she is going to show up to her commercial shoot tomorrow is in SERIOUS JEPORADY. Kris refuses to cancel the appointment, because she is a money grubbing b*tch. DAT SH*T AIN’T GOOD FOR DA BRAND GURRRRRRL!

-The suspense is building, WHERE IS SHE? Will she let a simple, treatable skin disease stop her from filming a commercial? OF COURSE NOT! Kim shows up, and of course it is easily covered up with makeup. Did anybody else see this SHOCKING solution to this week’s problem? Oh you did because psoriasis is pretty fu*king common? Yeah me too.

-At least Kris can sleep peacefully tonight, she got her 10%. THANK FU*KING GOD!
That’s all for this week, leave a comment and let me know what you thought. By the way, typing on a plane fu*king sucks.

Bill

11 thoughts on “KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS – 7/25/11

  1. Good recap. Although, I can’t read your columns regularly because you say the F word too many times and in the most awkward/unnecessary places. I get that swearing can make some things sound even funnier, but that is not the case here. Take some tips for RS…his swearing is placed to enhance the funniness!

  2. I agree, all the constant swearing and F-bombs are annoying. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been accused of having a potty mouth on many occasions, but when used too often it just reminds me of a 12 yr old kid trying to look cool to his friends. Despite the swearing issue, your blog is funny and I agree with most of your thoughts.

  3. I get a good chuckle about how you use a “K” to start all C words. I must say though, I don’t agree that Kim acted like she had “Kancer” when diagnosed with psoriasis. In fact, I thought she was especially calm and was thinking to myself that I would freak out wayyy more if I found out I had it, especially if my job was to, basically, look pretty (because really, what else does she do?). Also, I read an article online a couple of days ago that people with psoriasis actually have a much higher percentage of suffering heart attacks, so it really is serious.

  4. I am new to this site… and I must say you are so funny!! I am sitting here laughing so hard. Personally, I don’t mind all the “F” bombs (although I do not speak that way in real life) I find it hysterical in your writing. Well I’m hooked, look forward to reading more.

  5. Okay, really? Do you have to use so many F-bombs?
    It’s actually not as funny when you use the F word CONSTANTLY.
    Maybe you should get a dictionary. Or, maybe Reality Steve can have a talk with you. Either way, he should kick your F*ing ass off of his website. Your columns ruin it.

  6. I agree, too many F bombs. I noticed them even more this time. It’s not any funnier with them. I really don’t think that any of us that have commented negativly about them are prudes. Steve inserts them here and there just at the right time. He doesn’t completly bedazzel them like you do. Maybe you don’t even read our comments…

  7. I read each comment that is written by the readers, and I really appreciate the feedback. I apologize if you don’t like the style, but I tend to write according to the mood I’m in and put it down the way it goes through my head. In my experience with writing online, I know that it is going to rub some people the wrong way.

    Again, thanks for the feedback.

  8. 1st time leaving a “komment” on here,….
    If he drops this many f-bombs in this episode, i cant wait to see when “kim and kris” get engaged episode airs!!!

    btw mr. Reality steve, I read your site every monday tuesday religiously!

    thanks

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